I have read every word of this thread. I am sorry you are feeling the way you do Sandyweb. I have been where you are many times. I so wish I could take your urges away for you but I can't.

I have read many really great suggestions for you in ohers posts. I love the idea of ripping out words and pictures from magazines. I may have to try that one myself if I ever need to.

Can you cry in your living room when the kids go to bed? Or even the bathroom....fire escape. I understand why your kids need their own rooms.

I also do not understand why you got set up with a T who can only see you for a few visits. That makes no sense to me. I would go one more time or at least until you find a more permanent one who you feel good about.

Be good to yourself, you deserve to give yourself a break, and hug your kids.

<font color=white>laughter really is the best medicine</font color=white>