i met this guy on a dating site. he's 21 M and i'm 21 F. we are both from NYC but we are both seniors in college (our colleges are 3 hours apart). we eventually started talking on the phone. we really hit it off our first phone convo, so we started talking more and more on the phone. we couldn't see each other in person since we are 3 hours away. we started skyping, hit it off there. i really liked him. he's cocky and arrogant, but he had things to show for it at least, so i overlooked it. super intelligent (ivy league), good at piano, sports, great looks. main thing is that he made me happy. he is also jewish, and so am i, which is important to me.

however, 1 week into talking (we would talk A LOT), he asked me to be his gf. i said yes, because i felt that if i say no, i would risk losing him. and why would i want to lose someone who calls me every night and makes me happy? he also said he would like to visit me at my school, but i said no, not until we go on a 1st official date in person, which would be in 2 weeks after we first started talking, since we would both be home from our school breaks. he said fine and that he understands. he also said he doesn't want me hooking up with other guys and vice versa. he also invested so much time into me. He also said he wanted to meet my family and friends this coming thanksgiving weekend etc.

so we met up in NYC when we were both home from school and we had a nice time. we were still talking after that, considering ourselves bf/gf. however, i noticed him getting mad and defensive when i ask him a simple question about his motives. he would hang up the phone without saying bye and ignore me. when he would come back from ignoring me after a couple days he said he enjoyed making me anxious etc. he would also say things like.. "i'm getting bored maybe ill hookup with a girl since you're not here". i would get jealous and then he would call me dumb and overly sensitive for believing him. he said he likes making me jealous because it makes me more attached to him.

i also noticed he reactivated his dating profile, when he originally deactivated it for me. when i asked him about it in a non-accusatory way, he got upset and turned it on me for being too sensitive. He also made a bs excuse. (i only logged back into the dating site to see if he reactivated it and then i would log back out). i was just trying to reason with him. again, he would ignore me for a couple days. when he would come back he wouldn't be the same sweet, sensitive guy he was. i was telling him i wanted to talk to him about family problems and he lacked empathy.

i couldn't take this emotional rollercoaster anymore so i decided to end it. this is our conversation via text...

me: hey can you call me some time today?
him: cant. has to be thru text today
me: why
him: because i can't talk on the phone today
me: how about tonight
him: mmm maybe. but i'm not making any promises. i'm hanging out with ppl.
me: i'm done
him: with your day?
me: nope. with you.
him: okay! nice talking to you for the last month or so. Good luck!
me: seriously? how could you do this to me? how could you drop me so easily?
him: i didn't do anything to you
me: i'm crying right now and i need you. if you have a heart you wont do this to me
him: you just broke up with me. sorry. take care.
me: i didn't. i'm just angry right now and i'm having family issues and i wish you were here for me.

him: i do this to all girls after my 1st ex. it's a test. "how do you react when you don't get what you want? how do you react when exposed to a source of jealousy?" if the answer is go psycho, nose around his life, and throw accusations, then the subject has failed. you failed. it's a brilliant filter for the "bad ones". farewell.