Thank you all for your input. We have been married for almost 38 years and he is the person I have trusted the most in my life (after my mother). Now I have discovered that he has been lying to me and hiding things for quite a number of years. He is in therapy but will not be open with me - still has 'secrets', although he says he doesn't 'want to lose me', but is not sure if he wants to stay married to me. Says he can't decide until the therapy process is complete. You can imagine how I feel....