that certainly does seem like a lot to lay on a date of only a week. but more important is evaluating where you are emotionally. it sounds like you lack confidence and self esteem and this is really affecting you in relationships. on top of that, you have difficulty with emotional regulation. you are going to need to feel good about yourself before you feel worthy in someone else eyes. until you are comfortable with who you are, you are probably not going to feel worthy in a relationship. therapy will really help you build self confidence, self worth, and gain coping skills for emotional regulation.