Welcome to PC ((((((((((((((((scaredandalone))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this fear/phobia all alone. You are not nuts.....just need a little bit of understanding and maybe some help from a therapist to move past this phobia. It's definitely a good option and they really can help.

I'm glad you are doing your research....the more informed you are, the less fear of the unknown there is. It's all good!

Keep posting here....there are a lot of wonderful, supportive folks here. I hope you find answers to your questions and are feeling better very very soon!

Good luck!
Hugssssssss
J