Hi
I don't think we have met. I agree with posters above. What you feel is completely understandable. Making yourself that vulnerable to someone that you love and to feel rejected is bound to leave you pretty battered.

On the plus side, as you probably know (since you found this group), there are lots of resources and support to be found these days. Depending on whom you identify as there are plenty of support groups, advocacy units, and counseling groups dedicated to helping both you and your family.

I hope this helps, and does not sound condescending. These days I open my mouth and my mom falls out.

Anyways, lots of love coming from this corner of the planet.