I hear massive confusion in your head.

I am not a therapist, but I feel as if you don't know where to put your emotions. You would like all of these feelings to be in some sort of order so that you can deal with each one on an individual basis. Perhaps some of them are not permanent. Perhaps some of them are emotions that are simply a by product of growth and maturity.

I also hear you borrowing trouble. There is no need to speculate. Let go of the "what ifs" in your life. Be in the present and let the future go...

I do hope that you journal. It would help tremendously.