Well the elves have been busy as I slumbered. I will respond...

But he is perhaps calling my bluff on what I say I want. I emotionally want these things but.... do I? It is a matter of do I or how much do I want it. Can I do it?

Also... perhaps more all encompassing and more mind blowing...is
He keeps talking of my core and it not being changed and that if I do not deal with it that the other stuff I have cleared out will regrow if I do not deal with the core. I am tired.... but do not wish to regress any more.

I am back to work today after being off a week... I will answer more... but thank you all. Wish me luck today. No tears at work.... I hope.