Hello everyone and thank you ahead of time for reading this.

So me and my girlfriend (yes, I'm a girl. I'm bisexual, please don't judge) have been together for just over 4 months now. This is the longest and most serious relationship I've ever had. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone before or will ever love again. But within this short time, problems have already come up.

The thing is that she is 3 years younger than me (I'm 19 and she's 16. Again, please don't judge). She is very mature for her age, but she is still trying to figure everything out. I know this, and always try to remember it when something comes up. It's just that things have been difficult for me lately and I don't feel that she tries to understand how I feel.

Neither of us had a great childhood. She was abused sexually, physically, and emotionally when she was young. Her relationships when she grew up weren't very healthy. I would almost say that she doesn't know what a healthy relationship is.
My childhood wasn't near as bad as hers, but it wasn't great either. My parents never truly showed me love. I grew up hating my mom and younger brother, and my dad was more of a friend than a father figure. I never had anyone to really take care of and love me. I was always a clingy child and that continued into adulthood. My past relationships have been very unhealthy, some have boarded on abusive.

With this, I started this relationship knowing that there would be problems. I didn't realize that I wouldn't have any idea how to handle the problems though :/

We both have addiction problems. She has a bad addiction to weed and I have a bad thing for hydrocodone. I have recently stopped taking any pills that aren't pescribed to me and I'm really proud of myself, she doesn't care. She is on probation and has failed 2 drug tests, she still refuses to give up weed :/. She knows that I really want her to stop smoking weed, but she says the minute she's off probation she's going to start smoking again. I don't know how to get her to see how much it gets to me that she's not wanting to stop :/

I have pretty bad trust issues which has caused several problems between us.
I'm not used to people caring about me. I don't know what to think or how to react. She always gets annoyed with me when this comes up. I'm used to people being kind to me and acting like they care to get something from me (money, a place to stay, sex, ect.). She doesn't understand that and doesn't seem to care when I try to explain it to her.
She also has a thing for talking to several of her Ex's. It honestly doesn't bother me, but I hate it when she constantly talks about them. Or, worse, compares me to them.
She doesn't have a job, so she comes to me when she needs money. I don't mind (I'll give her anything in the world), but I'm starting to feel more like her personal bank than her girlfriend. This causes me to get easily upset with her when money is brought up, and I feel awful for it.

Recently she's gotten it into her head that I don't want her around. She doesn't realize how wrong she is. The thing is, when I'm hurt or upset I tend to shut down completely. I've been stressing out over school, trying to find a job, and moving out of my parent's house. She thinks that me shutting down has something to do with her, and then she won't believe me when I try to explain the real reason for it.

I really do care about this girl. I love her and I'm madly in love with her. I just really need someone to talk to about this.

Thank you,
Shelly