(This is sort of a vent/release post)

Today was horrible. We had a birthday party for my great grandma and everything from the beginning of the day was terrible.

First my aunt comes and tries to talk to me, while I'm in the other room she gets onto my computer, without my permission and points out all the things that I'm looking at. I guess I forgot to close out of my Psych Central profile and proceeded to tell me that everything that I believe in as a 'mental illness', is all a lie and is of the 'devil'. She fills me with thoughts that everyone here is going to lie to me and make me think things that aren't true. Her and my mom started bashing about how it's wrong for me to believe in something like, anxiety, personality disorder, and other illnesses. She then demands me to tell her what sites I were on, then starts preaching to me about how it's 'against god' to be looking at the things I'm looking at. It was nothing bad, like provocative or scary. It was just my profile.

My aunt forced me to get my mom and the both of them started verbally and emotionally attacking me about the 'mistake' I've made. Kept criticizing and judging me, treated me like I'm not capable of 'understanding what I'm getting myself into.' Then acted like I was a 10 year old and need to know that I have to be careful of who I'm talking to online (like I didn't know that).

I felt so pushed around and I started to cry and they only told me,

"It's only the truth, you need to listen to us, we're wise, we know what kind of act of deception this is, we'll always know best"

Then my mom was like,

"The devil is the one who fills our heads with lies, believing we're 'mentally ill'"

I don't even know what to do or believe, I feel so stuck and I'm feeling like I'm about to go insane. I desperately want to be treated better, but there's no escape from my horrible mistreating and disrespectful family. All they care about is attack everyone and cramming their religious belief down everyone's throat and to 'live like god'. Their so shallow and closed minded, I don't think they're even capable of understanding and knowing the truth about me. They wonder why I'll never tell them what's wrong with me or understand I can never trust them, they'll just tell me how I should live.

I hate my life!