Quote:
Originally Posted by zinco14532323
Maybe someone could explain my recent experience to me because i really don't know.
My aunt bought a condo. So I went out of town for a week to help her move. I remodeled the bathroom, built some shelves, moved all her stuff and so on. We went golfing, went to the casino, went to dinner with friends and family, went to watch my nephew play hockey. Had a great week and enjoyed it very much. Got lots of exercise, ate good, social activity with friends and family, purpose, got paid, felt really good. This has pretty much been true since last April, living this lifestyle.
Then I go home and got slammed with major depression. In a matter of two days I had all the symptoms. No energy, no motivation, have not showered in a week, don't want to get out of bed, didn't get out of bed until 6pm today. Starting to get suicidal thoughts. I had things planned. I have things I need to do. I can barely brush my teeth. I have said this many times and I swear it is true. It is like I can feel a switch going off in my brain. This has happened to me many many times in my life just like I have described. Durations vary. the switch may turn back on next week.
So how do I go from doing everything right, in therapy, all the right life style choices, to bam, brick wall depression??? Am I just on the pity pot? Is it my fault? I am just not trying hard enough? It is not really a disease? Please someone explain to me how this happens.
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Hi zinco, I *might* be able to explain this. You don't completely spell it out, but it sounds like when these things start, at some point you notice that "the switch has gone off" in your brain, but then it takes about two days to develop into a full blown episode. I suspect that at the moment you notice the switch going off, you just have a bad feeling, possibly with some specific thoughts, but possibly just arising as if out of nowhere. Right?
Now even though you're doing lots of great things in your life and having a lot of success, the process of slipping into the depressed mode is really an unconscious involuntary thing. Once "the switch goes off," I suspect that you start to have some negative thoughts and feelings. Although nothing drastic has happened yet, it might be that this builds on itself rapidly, just because you have subconsciously learned what happens next. You may be subconsciously afraid of what happens next and this fear may actually cause what happens next.
Now, I know I sound like a broken record, but when you do SNAP CLUB for a while, you will find that you can actually decide not to think some thoughts if you find them unpleasant and you can do the same with feelings. When I have some negative thought and/or feelings that would before have caused a whole debilitating cycle, I just notice them and decide "Eh, I don't want to feel angry(say) right now." SNAP! And it's gone. Once your subconscious brain get's used to this, the spell is broken. You are not afraid of your own thoughts and feelings anymore and you escape the negative spiral.
Anyway, it's not as if it's hard to try. Try it!
- vital