I live with depression. Has always been that way from the first days I can remember. I think its genetic. And also other things. I had my true self taken from me long ago. And recovering it is a daunting task. I try to smile a lot. And I am successful at doing that when I am out in public. I honestly prefer to smile anyway. I think it makes me feel happy to smile. But there is a deep saddness and depression. This, I know.