I was told at the women's center to share only info that you think people should know and what they don't know won't hurt them. I was like true, what they don't know won't kill/hurt them and why does it matter about my family? I am almost 29 yrs old, why are people still asking me about "the sperm donor and breeder" whom we share the same DNA?? I still live with them since I still can't afford it to have my own place yet which is embarrassing.

I used to tell people I am an orphan might as well never had a loving home. I had these questions like were you ever in foster care? Someone had to raise you just because you live in a situation doesn't mean you are being properly taken care of! I am still working on that and not sure what to tell people when they ask me who am I living with. I said one time roommates and they said so how are you paying rent? This was before getting a job and I don't pay rent now.

I am not sure how to explain my living situation to people without including the breeder and sperm donor. Here's the best part: my ex-therapist was irate when I said this to her in person and she said "that is not healthy because you are "taking away your identity from your parents" by telling people they don't exist. How can you be close to people when you can't tell them anything about ur family?" First off, I was irate when she said this and cut her short real quick! I told her "every conversation about "them" coming up resulted in people not wanting to talk to me; they asked me to tell them about them and I did it ended up resulting in a very negative, dark, but true story about me and my siblings. who wants to hear a dark, gloomy life story? I never had an identity growing up anyway, that was taken away from me long ago. A lot of people out there would rather hear the fictional white picket fence, fake *** dollhouse illustrated type of family. However, they are good, loving families but no perfect family and no family isn't like Bewitched or Leave It To Beaver! In life when making friends/meeting people, you gotta be careful what you ask about them it could be something horrific, traumatic, etc if they don't wanna talk about it then you shouldn't be pissed off because they won't talk about it. Now, maybe one day they will tell you if the friendship progresses or may be not but at least respect the person. You can always ask them about other things about them doesn't always have to be about their families. I prefer if people don't ask, I got siblings I can talk about not the breeder and sperm donor."

After that, that ex-therapist stfu! She told me 'you got the nerve to dictate to people about what they should ask you,' again cut her off. Told her what I said above 'not everybody is open about themselves as I am not open nor comfortable in speaking about myself.' Then she said 'people find you mysterious as you know more about them than they know about,' that part is true. It's like I told her and other people if listening to someone's dark past is a problem, don't ask! Nobody wants to hear about abused/broken families, then there is no need to give a person any info about it in the first place!

I agree with hvert. I have been in a lot of uncomfortable conversations with people not knowing what to say. Most of them have them unpleasant and negative it was like talking to my parents all over again; even in happy conversations I don't know what to say I was hardly ever in a happy conversation in my life it's was/like foreign to me. I don't seem to know what is acceptable towards a friend and what isn't since boundaries never existed in my life as mine have always been violated being told I have zero rights to ask for privacy etc.

I had friends that didn't last long all because they exhibit behaviors of my parents and some of them were broken too which I tried to help them and it didn't last. I was blamed for everything and said hell no, I don't want friends like these anymore. I want new friends which i made one at the moment. Idk, my inner child still seems to be holding me back. i remembered when I was a kid how I was so outgoing, always smiling, had really good speech/communication, etc now my speech slurs/stutters makes it look like i don't know how to speak. It's like something about me just gives off something different to people like they don't wanna approach me. I used to walk around with my head down still do once in a while not always.

I had friends who made me end other friendships due to not liking the other person(s) in order to retain my current friendships with the haters. Now, I would prefer if they didn't have to hang out nor see each other I shouldn't have to take sides.