This resonated with me a lot! I do very much miss her in the therapist capacity because the rules were clear then. She has stated that she tries to maintain that structure for me by always being available and letting our relationship center on advising me and helping me grow but now I lose time to clients and family that I'd have if I were still a client. I don't contact her very often but when I do I'm now in line sort of despite her getting back to me quickly to acknowledge receipt of my message to her. If there is an emergency she will immediately talk with me. Still I feel odd because we never talk about her...I feel like an emotional mooch. She says I'm not and that she felt like I needed someone for me after she saw firsthand how I cared for my parents. She says she gets to see me do well and that's the payoff.

I find myself wanting to ask her if we can return to client therapist relationship at times. I miss the structure. I don't understand things as well now.