Yesterday I went for a walk in the woods, it was vey muddy as it had been raining. I was walking up a really steep hill and of course I fell face down into the mud. I had an asthma attack for the first time in years. So there I was, lying in the mud, struggling to breath and thinking I don't think I can get up. There was no one to ask for help. Why do I have to do everything alone? Even getting up when I am hurt has to be alone. It has always been that way and now I am so accustomed to alone-ness that it will always be that way.