Hello, teenaged guy here. I was diagnosed with depression, 2 months ago by my GP and a psychologist independently. Told me just to take pills (and the psychologist told me to email him every week)... I guess I was kind of okay with that. I mean it sounded pretty good taking something to make all the sadness go away.
My parents told me that I shouldn't call myself depressed because society likes to label people and every teenager goes through this. They said that the pills would harm me... They made me afraid of taking them. The fact that the normalized all the feelings that I have gone through and it makes me really hurt and frustrated. I really hope that every teenager isn't sad all the time like I am.

I don't remember the last time I actually was really happy, happiness has just turned into just a dull feeling of being less sad. I find it to be so much easier to feel pain then happiness. I feel like I'm so tired all the time now too. The sadness doesn't have reason and because of this it makes it so hard. I feel weak and helpless for being this way.

Last night I couldn't do anything and I'm probably going to fail my chem test because of it. Maybe I use my depression as a excuse to not do work... I just wanted to lay in bed and I just felt nothing. Everything was dull, I wanted to cry because I thought that would help but no tears would come. I tried to cut multiple times but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I really wanted just anything to make feeling of nothingness go away.

My girlfriend doesn't deserve a boyfriend that is like this. I end up talking to her because I have no one else to talk to. It Really hurts me because one of the reasons why she likes me because of my personality and when I am this way, I'm not actually myself. She is super supportive of me and says that I'm not being a burden to her and I shouldn't be sorry. But, I don't believe her. I totally wouldn't blame her if she left me because of this.

Why do I have so much pain all the time? Why me? I just needed to wrote this stuff down....