Quote:
Originally Posted by shakespeare47
In that way I am very different. I have had night terrors and recurring nightmares. I've had dread associated with the memories. And it makes me very angry that there was no one there to protect the 10 year old child that I was (regarding the specific sexual abuse), and it makes me angry that I had parents who were so screwed up.
I do grieve the fact that I missed out on a normal childhood. and I have lot of compassion for those who had traumatic childhood's themselves.
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Congratulations, you've had a perfectly normal reaction to trauma!
Seriously though, what you're describing is very typical of someone who's been traumatized in childhood.
My parents were beyond screwed up, too. My younger sister has PTSD as well(probably complex PTSD), and she's one of the most neurotic people I know. I didn't turn out that way, apparently I got the ASPD gene and I'm not complaining. Psychopathy runs heavily on both sides of my family so it's no wonder really.
Unfortunately we can't change the past, we just have to move forward now. I think you're already well on your way. Also, the fact that you have compassion for others who have had traumatic childhoods is a good sign. It means that your capacity for empathy is still intact. You have a chance to be your own definition of healthy.
I was born without the capacity for empathy. I can
understand what people are going through, and I can actually be quite helpful to people who are having a hard time. But I don't
feel any empathy or other emotional reaction in response to what someone is sharing with me.