Hiya. Well I have been working on the getting more sleep thing. I insist the phones get unplugged at night, so no more crack-of-dawn (literally) phone calls disturbing me. Then I tried using a noisy fan outside my bedroom door at night - white noise to help block normal household sounds. That didn't really work too well. So then I started using ear plugs. That seems to help. I also quit fighting the pain. I know if it reaches a certain point, I'm not gonna sleep well no matter what, so if I feel I have to, I go ahead and take some pain meds, and try not to worry about my dwindling supply. Try to remain hopeful the upcoming doc appointment will be helpful, for that, for the xanax. I won't usually take any during the day, no matter what, so that I can be certain of having enough to get a good night's sleep.

The xanax I also quit fighting - and I take it every day before work. Again, trying not to worry about the low supply. I haven't had to force myself to NOT quit since I started doing that. I try to just self-control on days off....which didn't work too well yesterday.

Woke up after a good night's sleep. Removed ear plugs. Could hear a VERY large vehicle in my drive (close to my bedroom window) revving the engine, over and over and over. What the?? Figured it was hubby and one of his idiot friends outside, so ok, got company, pull on some clothes. Headed for the bedroom door...the phone starts ringing, cause hubby plugged it back in....but he doesn't answer it, confirming (to me, I thought) that he was outside. Make it halfway to the kitchen, and I hear the door open - but not hubby - was some man I didn't know, sticking his head in and YELLING for hubby. So I retreat back to the bedroom, and grab my nightstick, because that was closest weapon on hand, and I've been up 3 minutes, and WAY too much noise and chaos and no coffee, and where is hubby if he isn't outside with this schmuck, who is walking into my house? So now I come flying out of bedroom, half dressed, hair all a mess, night stick in hand....and get around to the corner, and stranger is not in house - is outside living room window, back in his truck, and laying on the horn. So....needless to say, I had a few choice words to him about disturbing the peace of a residence on a Sunday morning, thru the window. His excuse was, hubby had invited him to come over. So I then turn around to go find where hubby is...and he was in back of house this whole time, totally oblivious. Didn't hear a thing! So after telling him about the situation, we both walk out to the shmuck, who is long gone at this point. I think I mighta scared him. What a way to start the day!

My rage was such that I was shaking. I don't LIKE being like that. I'm far too capable of violence when I get like that. ~sigh~ But, today is day 1 of 5 days working, so the xanax will keep me calm for that long, at least. Starting next week, my employer has agreed to drop me down to 3 days, so hoping that will help, also.