I have just read an article or report that has turned my life upside down and to the point where I felt as though I lost grip of all reality.

I just read that ppl with BPD are irredeemable monsters (actually his own words) I read that we are sociopaths that have the ability to believe we have emotions, when in fact, none of our mood swings or even love for ppl is real..actually none of our emotions or feelings are real.it is all a master grand plan (that we are totally unaware of) to manipulate others into relationships that are self serving and abusive in every sense of the word. I read that we would say/do/act anything to ultimately con ppl into saving the damsel in distress that we all believe we are. We are self victimising monsters that are either, in a relationship, either being abused or have become the abuser, and what with our 'splitting' can alternate between the two...so we are either wanting to be saved, so we play the victim or when we see the split person as the abuser, we then in fact become the abuser.

Am I to believe that what I perceive as love, pain, sadness are all ********? Am I to believe that I am in this vicious circle that will never end of me being the victim or abuser? Is it true that although all my feelings feel real to me they are all infact some sick twisted version of real emotion?

Am I really this monster with no real feelings? I mean as in what is real to a person without BPD?

IS my whole life and personality a manifestation of my illness?

Please help understand what I just read. I don't even know if I am equipped to deal with such a truth. But if it is the truth, I must know it is if I have any hope or truly becoming a 'real' decent person.

I am sorry if my writing or explanation isn't great, I am not good with words....

I really need someone with a huge amount of self awareness and strength to read what I just read and give me some perspective. Is there anyone that feel they could read something like this and maybe shed a different light or perspective on it?

I am not willing to post the link for all to see for the fear it will do to you what it just did to me....but please, if think you are strong enough to read it pls tell me and I will pm it to you for a set of fresh eyes and hopefully some insight into what this guy wrote.