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Originally Posted by SkyWhite
Can someone tell me if this is dissociation?
Last Thursday I was feeling angry about my therapy ending too soon and me not being ready to stop. Public health regulations won't allow me to continue Tx.
Now, since Friday, I feel like the whole past year of intermittent sessions, one hospital stay, c-ptsd symptoms and re-traumatizing memories, etc. never really happened. When I look back on the past year, it's like looking into a fog. I have an appt with my T today and have to keep reminding myself that I have this appt. Before, I'd count the days between visits. I feel I've reverted back to exactly the way I was when I started therapy last august. I didn't do this consciously either. It just happened. I guess this is how I survived a lifetime of sh-- and abuse, but I never realized how easily I could slip into this state of mind. And I can't pull myself out of it either. It's not denial. I know the whole year happened and when I think about it I get anxiety attacks and headaches, which causes the memories to automatically get stuffed back down.
It's a comfortable place to be but I sense it's a "false recovery" or learned helplessness resignation.
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Im sorry but we can not tell you what this is with in you. what I can tell you is what this (having a foggy memory of recently past events like past therapy sessions, medical care...) is with in me... for me it was depression, shock, psychosis, anxiety....
with in me if the memory loss was /is a dissociative one a trigger can be tracked to it....ie I have trouble remembering hospitalizations due to how triggering it was for me to be in the hospital. I have trouble remembering what goes on in therapy sessions when that session is highly/emotionally charged to the point where during the session I dissociate.....
memory problems with dissociation are a special type of memory problems. Again we cant diagnose whether this is dissociation in you or not. only your treatment providers can tell you that...
my suggestion if this continues to bother you talk with your treatment provider. they can tell you whether this problem in you meets the criteria for being dissociation or not in your location, based on you, your treatment and whats what in your location.