Honestly, no. I am SO familiar with the concept of self-hatred, and of feeling like I've "done something really wrong" when all of that is a set of false beliefs. And I honestly know that feeling of "it can't be true" when someone says something nice about you.

Of course, I don't know you, or anything about your life, but in the more general context, knowing that we ALL suffer these horrible self-esteem/self-hatred issues, I would say your T was probably pretty accurrate.

I know, SO easy for me or other disintersted parties to say these things. But, this final thought - it seems the things that we think we did that were so awful aren't really that bad on the grand scale of things. It's just us being hard on ourselves because of our past history and issues.

I think you do need to let go - not that letting go is easy, believe me, I can't, I'm the king of not letting go of the pain.