Hi, welcome here....
That is tough to answer. In my own experience we can't really expect someone who isn't suffering depression to really understand the depths of it. It would be helpful if your spouse could understand and support you. Maybe taking her along to a therapy appt. at some point, if you are seeing someone, which would help you as well if you aren't already getting some professional help. Communicating your needs to her clearly would be a start. Some people will just never have lasting depression or understand what it feels like no matter how hard you try to get them to.