Hey SleepingSiren,

I am very saddened that you are going through this. That is a very triggering situation and I completely understand where you are coming from.

On a side note: I am very proud of you for recognizing these things in your family members. I think you have come a long ways in accepting your illness and recognizing the things in your life and in your environment - that effects you.

I must admit that you already know - very clearly - what it is that is happening and why. You said it in your first post on this thread:

"I desperately want to be treated better, but there's no escape from my horrible mistreating and disrespectful family. All they care about is attack everyone and cramming their religious belief down everyone's throat and to 'live like god'. Their so shallow and closed minded, I don't think they're even capable of understanding and knowing the truth about me. They wonder why I'll never tell them what's wrong with me or understand I can never trust them, they'll just tell me how I should live."

...As painful as it is to realize - perhaps the best choice, [for yourself] is to set boundaries with your family members - and continue to seek support from other aspects of life - that are not so unstable. Accepting that your Mother and Aunt may never come to understand you, nor give you the support that you most definitely deserve - is a very challenging notion to swallow. But I can tell you right now - from what you have shared on this thread - it is the best option [for you]. The important thing to remember - is if you do decide to set boundaries and ultimately accept that your family is not worth your continued suffering - in trying to help them to understand - you do need to find supports elsewhere.

No one should go it alone in this world.

For years I have tried to earn the acceptance from my family that I deserve - only to cause further hurts and more dysregulation than before. I've been doing this for over a decade. Every time I try - it makes matters worse. Everything I say is misinterpreted and I am accused of starting fights when my entire intent for arguing in the first place: is to allow for conflict resolution and equality for me in the dysfunctional dynamic that is my family. Knowing this - and accepting the probability of it continuing on - I must learn to accept that my family will never come to understand. It is so very painful to accept because of my Borderline and my fears of abandonment. Ironically - what could arguably, be the best thing for me: could also be the worst thing for me. The pain of not having your family there for you in the way they ought to be - the way the bible says they should be - is just far to painful to accept. But it is necessary. The important thing to remember - is in accepting that your family will never fulfill your requirements - it does not mean they cannot have a role in your life. It would be easy to rationalize they shouldn't have a part to play in our life at all if they never come to understand us - but that is black and white thinking - and it only leads to more pain further down the road.

It sounds to me like your Mother and your Aunt have based their entire lives upon a foundation of religion and narrow minded explanations. I am not attacking religion nor am I making fun of it, nor taking way from the genuine effectiveness it can have in some peoples lives. But you do not have to accept their disgusting ways of thinking.

Anyone who uses religion to diminish other peoples genuine feelings and hurts - is no true believer. They clearly have gained a LACK OF EMPATHY for others - from believing in this God of theirs. But this God of theirs - is not the real God - because the real God would show nothing but empathy. I can tell you that right here and now. They've twisted their religion into what best suits their own selfishness. That is a fact. And that is in no way shape or form - any different from any other radical form of religion.

While your Mother and Aunt do have a narrow minded way of thinking - just know that they probably do want what's best for you. It is very easy to misinterpret their lack of empathy and tendency to misinterpret, invalidate and missunderstand you as a form of: "I don't care." But really, [and this is just what I think from what you've shared] I bet your Mother and Aunt are so religious and narrow minded - that it is the only way to understand something they cannot possibly understand. Because they themselves, are firm believers in this twisted God of theirs - there's no reason why they would NOT try to convert you into a similar way of thinking. Ultimately - the point is - regardless if they are a believer in God or in Mental Illness for explaining how and why you are the way you are - they DO - want what's best for you. Otherwise - they wouldn't even try.

I hope that makes sense.

All I know is - there is the possibility in my own life for my own family to come to understand and accept me for who I am - along with all the negatives and positives that it entails. But it is not something I can just change. It takes time, patience, and most definitely a lot of pain and suffering for us.

Oh - I also have a fairly radical religious part of my family - and I was once labelled as being, "possessed." That really was a stab in the chest coming from my mother and brother... It hurt really bad at the time - but 15 years later - I just don't care. I know that anyone who says something like that to a suffering individual, who simply needs a bit of love from his loved ones: is not to blame for how and what he is.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz