Hey, dADDio, the fact that you feel that you had been a jerk in the past suggests to me that you have empathy and remorse for your past actions, both very good things. I think you could move forward as a leader/manager with compassion, and be a leader that people would be happy to follow. Your confidence is shaken a bit, it sounds. A sense of power isn't needed to manage, is it? What is needed is the ability to oversee the work of others, talent for delegating and monitoring your subordintes' work to keep things on course, and most important to me, to inspire others to be the best they can be in their job. Believe me, employees hate power-crazed, nasty managers, but they are happy to perform for ones who recognize a job well done, check in with their people to see if they're ok, and to offer support and a way to improve for those who are struggling. IMHO, I should say.

You can do this!

I'm not working right now (my own issues stemming from ADD, depression, etc), but when I did work, there were always managers who ruled and were jerks, seemed power-hungry, and then there were those who were supportive, encouraging and able to express when a good job was done. Guess who I liked working for?