For some reason today I got really stuck here, reading and trying to help, and I didn't find it made me feel better. So I agree with how you feel except it doesn't make me really angry, more sad for all the people in pain. I am irritated tonight so I might have to eat my words. Yes there is satisfaction, in feeling that being there for someone, even if it is not anything but through a computer screen, helps.

It does not help my reading skills, and I say this with the lightest of heart and jokingly, but I'm really finding that my spelling has gotten much worse and I struggle to find the way to say things....I kind of attribute that to reading people who make lots of mistakes in their spellings......or else I'm getting dementia from the benzo usage.. lol

I don't expect anything much when I post, but then again I do. But it doesn't matter now. When I first joined it gave me a huge comfort just to have a few replies, like validating me that I matter, I think that can wear off or has for me, and now I just want to be of help. But I like being heard...and now I must stop for the night.

p.s. you're not pathetic at all, if this forum helps you that is what it is here for. Just be careful to avoid some areas that trigger you, at least give yourself a break when you need it