Distraction and activities are typically only as good as a person allows them to be. For mine to work, I have to buy into the notion they will work. Meditation, yoga,music, exercise, and various activities outside help me. I recall some information about dr deegan. Think I spelled the right and things she called personal medicine. It is things we can do for ourselves. Walk, cook, behaviors. Perhaps this is something that would help. I use DBT tools - please, give, accept, observe, and others. Hope this helps. They don't work all the time, but it helps.