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vital
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Boston
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Default Oct 20, 2014 at 06:43 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachlover527 View Post
Thank you Vital for this. I know that I don't have a chemical embalance but I still become hurt and sad very easily and very quickly. I will try this out and hopefully this can make me gain control of my own self again / make me feel like I am powerful. Thank you for your awesome insight. I will let you know how this works out!

To StbGuy, yes I so agree with you! Sensitive people are prone to depression. I am so so so so so sensitive and it's something I can't change. I try to have different personalities so I don't have to think like I do and get hurt like I do but that is only avoiding my true self (Still need to work on this.) anyways, I love how you said there might be someone who took away your control in the past and YES! Spot on. My friend in 3rd grade made me feel not good enough, my bestfriend in 7th grade completely controlled me (she was a stupid ****in druggie) and she was horrible to me, my bestfriend in 8th-11th grade was a fun person to be around but was a controlling, dominant, hard headed person who loved being the center of attention, and she was selfish so she completely broke my feeling of having power. My mom also (ever since I was young) would tell me what's good or not. I ask Mom is this drawing good? She says I could fix some things(she's an animator). Mom do you like this shirt? No it looks cheap. Then I ask Mom should I do this? Do whatever you want! Stop asking. - okay ummm...?
** I am trying to skip class today because I didn't do my assignment (probably a sign of depression, I just realized) and I have a test today but I am so afraid of my mom saying I need to go but I will either tell her there is no class or something. It's weird I am in my first year of college and she still feels like I am a baby it is so f*ckin annoying. She should let me make my own decisions right or wrong. I know if I go today I will fail the test but she thinks I should always always go to school no matter what**

I have been so used to depending on other people's opinion that I stopped having a mind of my own. I don't TRUST myself. I still don't trust my taste to this day. I don't trust my decision making process to this day because I feel I am stupid or dumb or illogical. It really hurts me. I feel not good enough. Not smart enough. Not pretty enough. Not enough. It really makes me feel like I am being pulled down by heavy weights shackled on my feet. It sucks. Thanks for letting me think about these things from your wonderful insight.
Oooo, I'm really excited for you Beachcomber. I think that you are about to have some profound experiences. See my first response to Cryingontheinside for hints about starting. I'll be checking this thread daily if you have any questions.

-v
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Thanks for this!
Beachlover527