Yeah no toxicity in my life from family/friends....
The thing is I do get out and do things. I love photography and biking. I go out everyday despite my anxieties and do these things ALONE. I try talking to people but that doesn't work out to well for me. People don't want to befriend me - all because I lost all my teeth and do not have dentures (talk about sky high social anxiety and judgements when around people when they look at me and the looks I get) People are CRUEL!!! I pass no judgements on anyone i don't care what you look like as long as you are a good person is what matters to me. Unfortunately the people I have encountered don't see that in myself - We NEED people in our lives - its a primal need to feel connected. Without it how does one get better? I am tired of staring at the walls - I need conversation - i need to feel like I belong - am cared for - am loved - am supported - outside of me doing those for myself!!
I am working on getting the dental fixed and it will be a long process going through the dental college. I am making huge leaps that my therapist could of cared less of. Two weeks ago I faced a huge fear that was cooking - prior that I had not cooked in over 4yrs in my apt. Like I said I told the T and she had the same voice as when I tell her I feel isolated/alone. No congratz thats awesome (although I did that for myself) but I need outside encouragement/validation.