LOL I think I understood what you said!
It's like I tell my husband about his meds when he tells me he "doesn't care" whether he takes them or not. It's not a matter of WANTING, it's a matter of NECESSITY.

Does that work for you?
I don't envy you, though.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.