My life has only recently fallen apart again. Bipolar for me has cost me a marriage, my family and a business. I have just last month lost my second business and we are now fighting to keep our house. I'm back where I was 10 years ago. And then five years before that. Right from being a teenager I have hidden from life, then achieved, then crashed and burned.This is the third time in 10 years that financially I have lost almost everything due not to mismanagement but to my not being able to work. Besides the rapid cycling I find a life pattern of larger cycles which have dominated my life. I find I get back on my feet after a depressive crash only to become confident and take on more than I can handle. Both physically and mentally. Then the stress starts building, ultimately in a crash. Then the whole cycle starts again.

I'm over it. But what do you do. You cannot afford to give up. They say there is no shame where there is no choice, but for me thats not the case. Try having to explain to your wife and child we have to sell everything again because dads had a mental breakdown. (what the gp said not my pdoc ). The shame might be self inflicted but nonetheless it hurts the same.

Bipolar. The monkey on my back I share my existence with.


Hugs