I agree with you. And I am glad you didn't just take the anti depressants without thinking it through first. If you are truly feeing suicidal, then that has to be dealt with quickly and is one of the things that could made you decide to take them. But one thing is clear: you need a therapist. You need someone who can help you think and talk things through. Depression causes someone to have fuzzy thinking processes. You need help with that. Let someone help.

Have you talked with your doctor about using an insulin pen to control your sugars? They are quick an easy to use. That can keep you going. Also realize that just because you cannot stay out all night partying, that your life is going nowhere. Most folks your age grow out of the party stage pretty quickly. I remember being at university and having a lo of fun an then it stopped being really novel at all. There is more to life than going out. But then I think these are ideas that you should work through with good therapist. Give it a try.