Tonight my bf caught me SI. It's not something I do often, and only during the absolute depths of despair. Tonight has been one of the worst nights ever.

When he caught me I yelled at him to leave me alone and shut the door. I didn't speak to him after that for the rest of the night. But I'm awake again (for the past two years I've been up every hour or so all night long) and feeling miserable about how I reacted.

I don't think there's any way to make this better. I always hide it when I SI so no one knows, not even my bf, and we live together.

God, I need sleep so bad. Just a three-hour stretch would help. Am I going crazy???

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