I think we have things inside us that hold us back. And those things aren't our fault (like past abuse), but not working to correct those things are our fault. For example, you may not be able to stand up to someone because you were harmed as a child for asserting yourself. Your choices as an adult are now limited through no fault of your own. But it's your responsibility to work towards reclaiming those choices. That's part of what therapy is about. I am hoping that makes sense.