hi rustbelt royalty,
I also relate. I sometimes feel as though I am burdening my friends around me when I talk about my symptoms. Then again, I know from past experiences and trips to the hospital, that my friends and family want to know what's going on or so they say so. "I wish you'd talked to me..." "Whatever you need, we'll be there..." However, it often feels like when I'm hitting rock bottom no one has time to help. Or they say something like "you'll be fine..." etc. I know I will be fine. I've been dealing with my bipolar swings since I was in my early twenties. I also know when I need a little extra boost of support to stay stable. It just seems in times where I know illness is inevitable that I can't get a hold of the people I need the most. Or if I can, I just don't want to bother them with my problems. I don't have answers, just encouragement to keep reaching out.
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