I am really tired of pretending, of fighting, of holding on. of staying strong. I want to give up. I planned to overdose on Monday which was my b'day. 6 years into these illness I have not gotten better. I can't cope with life. But 4 days later it's my dad's b'day. So I have to put it off till then.

I feel so unwanted, useless and unworthy. My b'day gone without much celebration or cake or gifts. It's ok. It'd be a waste of money if I died before I can use the gift. I just want to gone from this world. I don't see my purpose in life.