Quote:
Originally Posted by zinco14532323
I was complaining to a therapist once that I always came in 2nd place. It was the story of my life. My buddies were always a second faster or scored more goals. The therapist asked me what was wrong with second place. That it was actually a pretty good achievement and I should pat myself on the back. I had really never thought of it that way before that. I was competing with some very talented athletes and the fact that I could even compete was a big accomplishment. Why do you have to be the best? Maybe it is unrealistic.
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What if I don't even come in any place? Or what if I get first place and then no place afterwards?
Being in what place doesn't have to do with my feelings.
I just feel defeated. I feel powerless. I feel not good enough for myself. I feel worthless. I feel not important. I feel FLAWED. I feel abnormal. I feel like I have many mistakes within me and people should not get close to me because they will enter Hell. I feel so bad about myself and I can't do anything about it because it's who I am but I am so dissatisfied with my true self. My true self is weird, not logical, not smart, disorganized, clumsy, stupid, all over the place, dumb, not confident, helpful, but I also give way too much for my own good, I don't respect myself fully and I've tried for so many years to figure how to do this, and many more.
It's hard to be me. It's hard to BE me. It's hard to accept myself and love myself when I dislike myself very much.