it goes on and never stops loss and grief of one thing or another, i come back and a friend has died here.... i greive for them - i see they visited my page and i wonder .... yet i was curled up in a ball trying to get throught the days, weeks , months that i was lost.... so I wasnt here for them

i have recently lost two friends, they didnt die just left me suddenly and wihtout much notice......i grieve for them , does that sound strange

I greive for the person i was before i was attacked cos she is dead, I miss my mum, i always had a safe place wiht her....now she is gone... and so is my safe place - the one place i knew would always have an open door

my gypsey cat was wiht me 7 of the 9 years i had PTSD had , have, who knows.... she is gone ...

Isolating myself ment i lost my long term friends...
and every way you turn there is such sadness...

guilt , sadness, second guessing..... anger at the universe for taking the good and leaving the wicked....all of this bubbles up in me and threatens to push me over the edge into despair....

and it never stops....

what do we do.....