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I always suspect I'm being hypersensitive, overreacting to things, etc., when I feel hurt by something someone else says or does...but it can't ALWAYS be just in my head, right?
Today, I'm doubting myself over a text my new roommate sent:
“Not to be a pain or anything cuz I’m sure your [sic] busy knitting or something but my older sister is stopping by tomorrow night for dinner so I’d appreciate it if there was some type of usable communal space on the counters or living area so that I can be able to cook and quite frankly I’m not going to make her eat in my bedroom.”
It made me feel really, really awful. First of all, she knew from the get-go that I'm chronically ill/disabled and can't do a lot around the house. I mean, in the three weeks we've been living together, I've had three doctors' appointments and an ER visit. This is not a secret.
Also, half the crap on the counters is hers, and none of it was cleaned up when she sent that text. She hasn't cleaned a single thing since she's lived here, at least not in common areas. Just because I'm home all day doesn't mean I should be responsible for more of the housework than she is.
But none of that is really what bothered me. What really got under my skin was "I'm sure you're busy knitting or something."
I wanted to respond with, "B----, please, I'm busy organizing a third of the state of Massachusetts for an important political campaign. The fact that I can knit while I run a phone bank proves I'm just that good."
But I shouldn't even have to justify my existence that way. Even if I wasn't doing my political work, I'm no less valuable as a person because I'm on disability. Her nine-to-five job doesn't make her better than me, and it doesn't give her the right to trivialize my life.
But then I feel like maybe I'm just overreacting. I mean, maybe she thought she was being funny, or maybe it was just a thoughtless comment. Maybe she didn't mean to devalue me, and I'm just reacting because I already feel like my inability to work a normal job means I'm worthless. I honestly can't tell, and it's making me feel crazy.
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