Thank you, hvert, for your very understanding post. Sounds like you know firsthand. Glad you do get some help. Neither one of us has any family around for thousands of miles. There is utterly no one involved with him but me. He'll say things like, "I almost slipped in the shower the other day and no one was here." That's why I wanted him to only shower when the attendant or myself was there. But he got rid of the attendant who came for shower visits. So, now, he has an attendant visit only one day a week, instead of three. I got so mad over that. We don't live together for years now because, when we did, I became a wreck. He's a recovering alcoholic who was pretty mean to me in the past. Still, after all these long years that we've known each other, I am his best friend.

He has three adult children. Two call him every week. One doesn't bother at all. Over the years, the best I can say is that they are more or less polite to me, but that's about it. If something happened to him, I wouldn't expect to ever hear from them again. When my father died, I didn't get even a sympathy card from any of them. They never call me, except if there is an emergency with him, like he goes into the hospital, which he's done often.

As far as me getting "paid," that's a sweet suggestion, hannabee. Thank you for thinking I deserve that. It would never happen, and I don't expect it. I've never even once received a truly thoughtful gift from his kids. They live very, very well, but they are not the giving type. They feel he is poor because of his past drinking and bad choices, and they just blame him for not having lived his life more sensibly. I can't argue with them there. They got hard butts, but they do know how to get ahead in life, and they don't believe in feeling sorry for anyone. They've told me to "just cut strings and walk away," if I feel burdened.

sophiesmom: I have a similar background to what you have. It gives me the perfect skill-set to help him. As you can understand, it's way different when you don't get to clock-out, after so many hours. He has all the problems you are very familiar with. Thanks for understanding. You're right about how it would bother me to just "leave them both to it." I'm not looking forward to these days at all. I'll be glad when this daughter leaves town. I do tell myself that it is not my obligation to entertain her. I appreciate you reinforcing that. I guess I will do for him what I normally do. She talks about wanting us to hang out at her fancy hotel suite . . . . and how she will order food and wine for us, if he is not so up to going out everyday. She's planned what sounds like a pajama party . . . telling me how she can have extra cots brought in to her hotel room, if we get feeling good and don't want to drive home. As I'm typing this, it's starting to sound crazy, and I can't wait for this whole encounter to be over. Her coming here has become the much bigger stress on me, than taking care of him.

Thank you all for these understanding posts. Maybe, I will call the VA now.