okay I thought about it and I am not sure about that whole suicide issue. right now I don't feel like I want to and that makes it hard to imagine I will. but the truth is I don't know. I had very dark moments before. when I read what I have written on this forum some days I realize I tend to forget about these feelings when they are not there.
okay, I will definitely stop now talking about this.

yeah, I have a book pile but never finish anything!
I am a horrible reader. don't do it so often. that might be the reason for not finishing books. not even those that are only a booklet with an essay you could read within a few hours.
also there are some fancy and very interesting magazines on my pile which I never touch but every day seriously plan to.

most of the time I choose my computer instead.
not so clever. just more comfortable.

it's awful if you can't concentrate to watch anything! I experienced that before. but if there is anything that is working for you, like writing here or something else it's great!