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Johnny, a couple of your posts in this thread break my heart and remind me of myself in the past. Due to things that happened in my past I thought I had this huge sign on me that announced to the world that I was not only damaged goods, but dirty to boot.
Hun, the reality is that the outside world only sees what we show it. Folks at the gym had no idea about your diagnosis (unless you told them). That negative view of ourselves comes from inside our own heads. Maybe the message was programmed into us by someone else, but we continue to repeat it. It's possible to stop that way of thinking. Took me a long time and a ton of hard work in therapy, but I did it. My past is still the same. The things that happened, happened, but that doesn't mean I am any less than any other person. AND no one in the world knows those things about me unless I decide to tell them.
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