Hello everyone.

I've been diagnosed with BP1 and BPD as I've said before in my previous posts. I post about once a week, because I am constantly getting bombarded by problems I'm having, especially concerning my disorders. I'm in the middle of transitioning to a new medication, and I feel very sad a lot of the time, probably because I'm slowly getting off a medication that made me feel a little better, though it had some nasty side effects. Basically, I've been reading through my old diaries from the past year or so, and I'm seeing this pattern of being too attached to the boys who enter my life... unfortunately every "relationship" I've had has only been fleeting, mostly because the guys just start acting mean or ignoring me for no reason. I really haven't done anything to deserve half of the things they've done to me, or at least that's what my roommates say. I'm convinced, however, that I'm over-bearing or annoying, which makes them want to run the other way. In addition to that, I'm just very critical of myself, and I've seen all of these relationships as my fault because they turned out bad. I'm currently in limbo with a guy I really like who said from the get-go that he didn't want a serious relationship. I agreed, because I too am dealing with too much to be committed, but then he just stopped talking to me and hanging out with me. It's hard to not text him, and I find myself wanting to say things to him, but I know I shouldn't. Is there any advice about doing something to move on? I also noticed that, with some other guys, I reacted to their actions with anger. I'll get upset at their unjust actions and I tell them to go f themselves and say I don't ever want to talk to them again. It's hard to really be okay with what happens, and to let go. Has anyone else felt this way/have some advice to make me feel better? I'm going to see a therapist regularly, but I haven't gone long enough to resolve these problems... please help