Ah, stupidity. I waste my session with my therapist not knowing how I'm feeling and leaving it to the end. It's my fault. Why did I even say anything? And why did I expect her to guess? And I kept her next appointment waiting. In any case, I agreed to wait for her to finish. And for all I know I'll end up in the ER again. Because in this state, I don't think they can trust me to be safe. And I can't promise.

Why did I even bother saying anything? And I feel so strongly that it's my fault and I'm to blame, no matter what she said. With my luck they'll throw me inpatient. And my psychiatrist isn't even here. I hate myself so much.