Feel so exhausted. I broke down last night (really bad) and still feel the same, but I'm at work. I don't want to be, but I am because I'm stubborn. I can't even tell you why I was bawling. It just happened. Maybe it's from trying to appear normal. Maybe it's because something triggered me (don't think so). Maybe it is because I'm bipolar and f×÷ked in the head. I don't want to be this anymore. I want to be better right this min. I don't know what to do, and maybe that's part of the problem. All of this is horrible, but in reality you can't gracefully fade out of the scene for half the show. I want to just step off stage and be invisible for a while.