I'm in a bad place. This isn't a suicidal post, but I'm scared that I'm heading in this direction. I'm away from home right now so I can't turn to my therapist. I just don't know where else to turn. I'm sorry if I'm violating rules of this board.

Background: late 30s, female, married, no kids. Have been treated for depression for 10 years. No meds.

Why I'm at my breaking point: After leaving a very abusive job last year, I was offered my dream job. But it required me to move. I thought it would give me the opportunity to start fresh. But I took my husband away from his family and friends. It hurt our marriage. The housing market turned downward and I lost my life savings selling my old house. I have a new house in my new city but it has made me feel trapped. My "dream job" has turned out to be horrible. My boss is an a-hole and doesn't show up to meetings with me, leading me to be scared I'm going to be fired. I haven't made any friends in my new city. On top of that, I had to put my cat down a month ago and that seemed to be the last piece to put me over the edge. This past weekend, I was home alone and tripped and fell down the stairs, smashing the side of my face. I laid in my own blood for 3 hours before I worked up the care to drive myself to the ER. I got 4 stitches and my face is swollen. Everyone is staring at me and I can't take it. I'm out of town right now on business and laid in my hotel room, sobbing all night for no apparent reason.

I'm not sure what to do. I've never felt so trapped and so alone.