I think (after 3 years of therapy) that figuring out what "happy" means to each of us, and choosing the actions/reactions that will get us there, is an ongoing process and both go hand in hand.

I didn't know until right this second that I had figured that out and I just scared myself a little right there. I am a person who does not embrace change easily. Have fought tooth and nail for the changes I've made in myself through therapy. I have always been the type of person who wants to, say, work for one company my entire career because it's so hard for me to change jobs. I like to be "settled". And what did I just say in that opening sentence? I said that figuring out our "happy" and making the choices to get there is an "ongoing process" which inherently means it CHANGES as we go along. Maybe if I were "settled" as far as love for, and belief in, myself and my own worth as a human being, I wouldn't be so afraid of EXTERNAL change and could move up in my career like a lot of my friends have done instead of staying stuck on the same rung of the ladder for umpteen years because I'm afraid of change.

Wow.

This therapy stuff works in amazing ways, my friends!!