@nature1968, @chippermonkey thank you both for your response. I am in a jam. The reason i nevet took action was because she has been away at school. She graduated then took a summer job in cape cod. Then she came home (i thought for good at the end of august) and that's what i had been waiting for. She knew i loved her and she knew i wanted to be with only her. 4 weeks ago i told her i wanted to marry her. We even went and tried on engagement rings and discussed baby names. Its like a bride who got cold feet at the altar. But anyways het summer job in cape cod (3 hrs away from me)has just become afull time job. My wife knows I'm seeing someone but she rather not confront me about it. I told my wife that i want in love with her and that maybe we should get a divorce but she said she's not giving up on me. I don't want to hurt my wife but i know what my heart wants and i know she wants this too. But there's just to many factors that I've mentioned before that she keeps telling me about. I KNOW I'M SCREWED BEYOND ALL HOPE. I know people will judge the age difference but we don't choose who we fall in love with.