I've been a member of PC for approximately 5 years. I've been diagnosed with nearly every mental disorder (no joke). Each p doc gives a different name for it so I'm trying to figure it out myself and start over with a new pdoc.

It's been about two months and I noticed a dramatic change. I was diagnosed with bipolar at 15 but each doctor says its something else. I've always been in abusive, stressful, unhealthy environments so I will start she I got out 5 years ago. I'd been on a "diet" that caused rapid weight loss (by anorexia and bulemia)and health problems. I sought help and got better, felt better. I left my ex husband (who was abusive) and drove across the country with my 1 year old. I was feeling great from fleeing, I'd never felt better. I started drinking because I was never allowed, got my tongue pierced, slept an average of 3 hours a night, ws drinking and driving (I have always hated when people did this and swore I never would), racked up thousands in credit cards and ignored the bills when I couldn't afford them... I was highly active but very jealous. I met my now husband. I wanted to run away so without plans or jobs i convinced my now husband to move to another state where we k ew no one and had no jobs. That only lasted four months. We had hobbies that were risky by not high risk most of the time. I experimented with psychadelic drugs. (my child was on visit with her father during the risk times)
Eventually (after trying psychedelic drugs for the 4th time), I had a seizure while taking mushrooms. A bad one. I went deep and low into anxiety. I developed severe agorophobia where my therapist had to make home visits. I was petrified. I was afraid of everything. My husband had already proposed and we were planning our wedding. I was so happy to be marrying him but the whole planning, wedding, even honeymoon was clouded with anxiety. Id had more unprovoked seizures since the mushroom night and was siagnosed with epilepsy after testing. I lost my license.
I got pregnant and half way through I started finding my energy again. I was in my anxious phase about 2.5 years. My husband and I refer to that phase as my dark phase. So I start getting energy but am overly sensitive. Cry at everything, low low low tolerance for anything, I started hitting walls and breaking things. I thought it was hormones so she I had my baby and the rage worsened I thought just hormones.
It's been six months and the rage continues. I have buttloads of energy and am in good spirits but the smallest thing sets me off. It's hard to stop yelling once I have started. Hours later I feel like the worst person in the world and apologize but by that Tim its too late.
I've begun exercising and dieting (the right way), I often talk and dream about picking up and moving away. I often think about walking out the door and not looking back, alone. I love my family, my two kids and husband. I adore them, but I am so afraid of ruining them with tho behavior. I am entirely too critics and expect way too much from my kids, they are just kids!
I quit smoking cigarettes (after 14 years) about 9 weeks ago and am thinking this rage can be a result of that since I'm only like this on days I realm crave a cigarette.
I'm now avoiding responsibility. I'm 28 but when the doctors call asking me to talk to my insurance about money issues, I get anxious for some reason and ignore their calls.
By explaining everything in attempting to show how everything -could be- circumstantial but I'm also considering the doctors may have been right in the original diagnosis. I have had phases of dillusional thinking but not since my last phase where I was having eating problems. During my down phase I also lose every ounce of self worth, right now however I admit my confidence is rather high. I think though that this may be the way I just react to stressors or she I'm generally pleased.
So I'm going to talk to my doctor about this next week but was hoping to get an idea if I'm close on the diagnosis in hopes to have a starting point. So could you please tell me what your experience is with the episodes and if you think this could be the direction for me to look? I hear epilepsy and bipolar are common together and many anti epilleptic drugs are used for bipolar disorder so I'm thinking this may be where to look. I'm just afraid of going back to that low phase I was in just last year