You aren't finding the right articles. There are a LOT of women who can't orgasm with a partner but can on their own. I think the fact that you are only finding articles about women who can't orgasm at all is making you feel like more of a freak, when its actually quite common. Have you tried introducing toys into the bedroom? I know a lot of women GASP! at even the mention of this as they don't want to insult their partners performance, but it totally isn't about that. The guys I've been with have all thought it was totally hot to use toys on me and to watch me use toys on myself. If a guy feels shamed by the performance of a toy because he can't get the job done, that's his problem. Why should I suffer with no orgasms and getting off behind his back simply because I can't always orgasm with him? Try toys, they may help you relax more.