Hi guys x So I'm a bit confused. Okay, VERY confused, about my gender/sexuality... I don't like talking of this as it seems ridiculous and OTT, but it's affecting my sense of self esteem and identity...so here goes

Cutting to the chase, I was a bit of a tomboy as a child. When I grew up I was still a bit of a tomboy up to the age of 16 when I was encouraged...well, and sort of 'pushed into'...being more "feminine", in terms of dress.

I'm 20 now and still I feel as though something is still missing in terms of being "myself". My first ever boyfriend (ex now) told me he accepted and loved me for me, not what was between my legs. He didn't seem to bat an eyelid when I came out to him about when I used to dress as / want to be a boy when I was a young teenage girl. Neither did he leave me when I told him I didn’t feel very “feminine” and didn’t like dresses etc. I thought he’d be put off because of all that, my illness (see below), the fact I’m not particularly “bubbly”…I can be very quiet but also dramatic and loud at times...but no…

As a child I had an illness which caused me to get badly bullied and I felt very isolated too, during junior and secondary school. No doubt, the illness and bullying itself definitely affected my sense of esteem and identity. (Still have the illness now and tbh I do feel different, or brace being taken the p!ss out of or not accepted or liked etc.)

I don’t really have a problem being more “feminine” when I’m home with my partner or maybe out, but to be honest, it fluctuates terribly…I am so confused about who I am.